50 Valuable Tips to a Better Long-distance Relationship: LDR Do's and Dont's - Friendship Lamps

50 Valuable Tips to a Better Long-distance Relationship: LDR Do's and Dont's

A long-distance relationship (LDR) is not necessarily harder to maintain than a geographically close relationship (GCR), but the challenges may be different. Many of the pitfalls are common to any relationship, romantic or otherwise. But there are some that are more applicable to an LDR, such as the frequency of communication. When you're physically together, that's a form of communication by itself, but when that element is absent, verbal and other communications become the only bridge connecting you to your loved one on the other side of the world/country/city/town.


Speaking of other types of communication, we'd like to first introduce a unique way to stay in touch with someone long-distance - a spouse, a friend, a sibling, a parent, a grandparent or grandchild, and so on.

Friendship Lamps

What Are They?

Friendship Lamps are a pair or set of table lights that can communicate with similar lamps in a secure group by connecting them to their respective Wi-Fi networks wherever they are.

What Do They Do?

After setting up multiple lamps, touch one of the lamps on the top sensor plate. Instantly, every other lamp connected to it online will light up in the chosen color of the first lamp. To respond, the person at the other end can just tap their own lamp, which again changes the color of all the lamps to the one assigned to that second lamp. And so on, to create a wide network of lamps to help long-distance couples, family members, and close friends stay connected to each other.

Click to See Our FriendLamps Offers


And now, on with the main show...

50 Valuable Tips to a Better Long-distance Relationship: LDR Do's and Don'ts

Keep in touch with each other: Remember communication is the best therapy.  Always be a good listener. You can use different ways to stay in touch.  Keeping in touch is a difficult challenge that you face in your relationship. The more you keep in touch the better. Sometimes, without communicating regularly, you feel that your relationship is slowing down and ultimately leading to a breakdown. Remember to communicate effectively. You can call your partner, voice message, or even video call. Check on your partner, ask about his/her work, how his/her day went, about his/her family, the place where he/she stays, his/her neighborhood. Talk about their interests, ambitions, and fears. A sudden phone call to your partner will be a real surprise. Keeping in touch requires a lot of effort from both sides. Avoid negative thoughts and stay positive always. Be open with each other. Keeping yourselves updated on your plans, will strengthen your relationship. Share your day’s experience, the new people whom you met, and the place where you had your meal. Share photos or videos with your partner. Make him feel involved in your activities. Both partners should put in a lot of effort to keep the relationship alive. Assuring your partner of your commitment to them will go a long way in having a successful relationship.


Don’t talk every day:  It is not necessary to talk to each other on a daily basis to keep your relationship going. In fact, it can be a disaster. Give time for each other.  You will run out of topic if you start talking every day and get bored. Fix a time, a date for calling each other.  


Know what success means to you:  Do what you enjoy doing, something that makes you happy. Work towards that goal that you have set for yourself.  Take up new challenges which help you move ahead professionally, financially and enable you to grow. Share your thoughts and your ambitions with your partner. Let your partner know of your dreams and the efforts you are taking in fulfilling them. 


Tell people about the relationship:  Be honest and transparent about your relationship with your family and friends. Let them know that you are in a relationship. Tell them how serious you are about this relationship. This keeps out people in your family or friends circle who wants to date you. 


Remember that your partner isn’t perfect:  Accept the reality that your partner isn’t perfect. Everyone has their flaws. Acknowledge your own flaws. Remember the good things about your partner.  If you think your partner is perfect, then you will be disappointed.  What’s perfect according to you may not be right from your partner’s point of view. Don’t be quick to judge. Listen patiently to your partner, view things from his perspective too. Complement and encourage each other.


Plan your future: When you both are in a long distant relationship, things seem to be going smooth. You are happy and are staying in touch with each other regularly. Plan your future on the things you need to do like, how long will it take for both of you to settle down and living your life together, your travel plans, your finances, the place where you will settle down, how many kids you want to have. Get excited about your future together. It is as important as anything else. Fix a date to meet up in person. One of you can relocate to your partner’s place. There are a lot of sacrifices involved in a relationship. 


Keep calls short, sweet, and crisp: Your calls can get long and boring if you do not keep them short and sweet. There are times when you need to convey the message and be done with it and not want to discuss it in detail. Focus on the points to be discussed - the important things - and do not be rude. Ending a conversation politely is an art and an important part of securing your relationship. Say ‘I love you” often.

Recognize that change is inevitable: Always remember that all will not go well in your long-distance relationship. There could be sudden hiccups for which you both are unprepared. Be ready for any eventuality. The fear of someone taking your place, the feeling of insecurity that your partner is betraying you creeps into your mind whether your partner is being loyal to you or not.


Help each other:  Talk to your partner. Find out how his/her day went. If there is an issue, either from the office front or from the family, or a health issue, try to help as much as possible though you are miles apart. Talk about the problem; give your views on how to solve them. Work towards building a support system. 


Lay down some ground rules: Laying some ground rules is important. Both have to be clear on what to expect from each other.  Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Do not judge quickly, compare, or criticize your partner. Always listen, understand and be patient with each other.


Identify your common goals: To keep your relationship more active, healthy, more lively, share your goals with each other and respect each other’s choices. Your goals can be different from your partner’s, but try and talk about the common goals you share for the future. It can be saving for your new house, or to buy a vehicle, or help children in the orphanage by providing for their education, or a trip to your dream destination. Talk about your common goals as often as possible to remind yourselves that you have to work towards them. These common goals will give you a feeling of oneness as a couple and bring you closer and give you immense happiness and satisfaction. Once you achieve a goal, celebrate it by treating yourselves, having a good drink, a dinner, or anything that makes you happy.

Plan your dates: Keeping in mind both your work schedules and different time zones, plan your dates accordingly. Work out a schedule, where you have a fixed time for your dates and the things you can do. You can watch your favorite TV shows together, make a quick snack and a drink and enjoy your quality time. Text messages while watching your shows. Plan a workout together.  You can even go to your favorite restaurant. Video call each other and show the spread. 


Make travel plans together: Planning for your travel together is as important as communicating. Plan ahead; make a list of places you like to visit. You can plan and meet up at a place and go on a vacation together. Take a lot of pictures. 

Create a bucket list:  An interesting relationship makes you and your partner happy, satisfied, and exciting. You can create a bucket list together. There are countless things that you can do together to keep the spark in your relationship. A few of them are (a) Spend a day with each other, just talking, video chatting, listening to music, singing together, (b) Create to-do lists for each other, (c) Learn new languages, (d) Visit each other, fix a date, (e) Watch shows, movies together, (f) Go on a virtual tour, (g) Introduce and know each other’s family and friends, (h) or plan an outing, a place where you have not visited, take pictures, share it with each other.


Send voice recordings:  Record romantic and sweet messages and send them to your partner. You can do it on a daily basis. This not only brightens their day but also makes you happy. Your partner will love and appreciate these little and simple voice recordings. In fact, both of you will be eagerly looking forward to these messages. Maintaining a healthy relationship this way is not only easy but also exciting and fun. 

Jot down little details after you talk: There are times when you forget things that are spoken during your conversation, like important dates, special occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, and an upcoming promotion, an important presentation that your partner is working on, or even a doctor’s visit. One way to remember and not miss out on these things is to put them down in writing after you end your call. Remembering these dates and events will improve the quality of your relationship. For example, wishing your partner for his presentation will give him the confidence to go ahead. Reminding your partner that there is a birthday in his family which is coming up, helping him plan for the birthday party, or even following up with your partner after his visit to the doctor. These little things will add spice to your relationship and, above all, it conveys the feeling that you care.


Plan your meetings in advance:  Schedule your meetings in advance, keeping in mind the time especially when your time zones are different. Find out a convenient time when both can talk. 


Talking about the relationship you are in and dream together:  Be committed in your relationship with each other, if you want your relationship to be healthy. Talk about it more often, reassure and motivate each other and work towards making it possible. Promise and trust each other and have a positive approach towards your relationship. Apologize when necessary. There are innumerable things you can dream of. Dream of your life together, the place where you will settle down, your dream house, your dream destinations to visit, your dream car, your sex life, or a sufficient bank balance. Looking forward to all that you dream can be a wonderful feeling and gives you both the confidence and the extra motivation to work towards it. Talking about your dreams more often will make you overcome the hardships you face. Sometimes these plans can be altered according to circumstances. Many people today are victims of fear. They never attempt to pursue their dream because the thought of reaching them seems impossible. How do you know you can’t succeed if you don’t try?


Do your own thing: You have to give space and time for yourself. Do things that make you happy. Be independent, take care of yourself. Make your own bucket list, like spending quality time with your family and friends, enroll yourself in a gym, a good workout, a tour to your favorite place or a place you have been wanting to visit, go on a trek, pursuing your old hobby, a relaxing time at your favorite salon. A visit to the beach. 


Prioritize your schedules well:  When you are in a long-distance relationship, you have to give importance to your schedules. List out your priorities and work towards them. Share it with your partner to allow them to plan their own work and time. Give importance to your partner’s time and space. This will make them feel loved and important and not left out.


Focus on quality communication: Good communication is a must when you are in any relationship. Plan ways on how effectively you can communicate. Talk and discuss with your partner your priorities, your desires, your fears, and your ambitions.  Assure each other that you are there through trials, pains, and emotional pitfalls. Give quality time to your partner. Don’t rush your calls and be done with it. Avoid arguments. Don’t vent your anger on your partner. Be the first one to say “I am sorry”. Ensure that you listen to your partner patiently. Give priority to his/her calls. Communicate your love and appreciate your relationship. Communication has a deeper level of understanding.

Starting a new hobby together:  Hobbies can be relaxing. Spend time in a common hobby, where you both are interested, like gardening, cooking, learning a new language, painting, learning a musical instrument, playing an online game, singing, etc. It’s interesting when you learn new things with your partner, and it strengthens the bond between the two of you. Read together and share interesting passages while you read. Video call or chat while you are doing it together. Give tips on how to improve it and have fun. Fix dates for these things. Doing a common hobby is relaxing and soothing to your relationship. It also draws you closer to your partner.


Cook and eat a meal together: Another fun way and to spice up your relationship is to have a meal together.  Keep a fixed day to cook your favorite meal. Share recipes. Video call and start cooking together, arrange your table. Dress up for the dinner date, put on your best outfit, use your favorite perfume, light candles to make it more romantic. Play some music. Take pictures of the dinner date.  


Learn new things about each other:  Especially in a long-distance relationship, you need to know a lot of things about each other because you have not met each other in a while or you haven’t spent enough time together to know each other.  Ask questions about your partner’s new job, the place he/she has recently relocated to, any new hobbies, about their family members or new friends, the way they like to dress up, and any new developments. Share about the new hobby that you started, about the new time management skill you have learned, and so on.  Keep yourselves in learning mode all the time.


Switch your modes of communication:  You get bored of talking on the phone. Use different modes of communication that modern technology offers us. You can talk to your partner through video calls or connect through Skype, face time. Communicate through voice messages, through emails, write letters, and send them by post for a change. Without effective communication, there will be misunderstandings, doubts. You can surprise your partner by changing the time of your call and not always stick to the same time. Never forget to say “I love you” at least once a day. Be patient with your partner when he/she does not return your call or does not call at the expected time. It could be that their work is keeping them busy or are held up because of a sudden meeting.



Let’s try that again, shall we???!!!

Speaking of other types of communication, we'd like to (once again!) introduce a unique way to stay in touch with someone long-distance - a spouse, a friend, a sibling, a parent, a grandparent or grandchild, and so on.

Friendship Lamps

What Are They?

Friendship Lamps are a pair or set of table lights that can communicate with similar lamps in a secure group by connecting them to their respective Wi-Fi networks wherever they are.

What Do They Do?

After setting up multiple lamps, touch one of the lamps on the top sensor plate. Instantly, every other lamp connected to it online will light up in the chosen color of the first lamp. To respond, the person at the other end can just tap their own lamp, which again changes the color of all the lamps to the one assigned to that second lamp. And so on, to create a wide network of lamps to help long-distance couples, family members, and close friends stay connected to each other.

Click to See Our FriendLamps Offers


Take a virtual vacation: Take time off from your day-to-day activities and plan a virtual vacation. Pick up a destination of your choice that both would love to visit. These days many national parks, museums, zoos, or other places of attraction offer virtual tours. Explore the place; learn about the rich culture, the food, the people and their language, watch a concert there, from the comfort of your home. Plan a virtual vacation at least once a month and spend quality time with each other. Pour a drink of your choice, cook a traditional meal, relax and enjoy your vacation. Have a travel binder, list out the places you would like to visit. You can print pictures of the places you visit and convert them into your travel album. The best part is, you don’t have to spend on these virtual vacations. You can also plan your next vacation and choose a place from your bucket list. 


Stay honest with each other: Never try to deal with your problems alone. Be open with your partner and share your feelings, your desires, your fears, etc. Your partner may be in a position to help you deal with these things. Talking will help you feel lighter and will strengthen your confidence and you will be assured of his/her support when in need. Staying honest will help you accept each other, the way you are. Learn to be patient with each other. Trusting each other in a long-distance relationship is difficult, but possible. Talk to your partner about how you feel about the new job you have taken and the difficulties you face in the new setup. Finally, have realistic expectations from your partner. Don’t lose respect for each other.


Send gifts to each other:  Gifting each other little things can be a great relationship booster, showing that you care. Be it for a birthday, or a promotion, or your anniversary of meeting each other. It could be a framed picture of you both of your last meeting, or your travel together, or their favorite perfume, or even a t-shirt, hand-painted by you, with the words “I love you” or “I miss you”, or a handmade card, or ordering their favorite food.  Sending handwritten wish-you-were-here postcards puts a new spin on an old classic.


Dealing with addressing important issues:  Normally, couples need to understand that issues can crop up and should learn how to deal with them in their relationship, whether they are staying together or living continents apart. Always it is important to address the smaller issues before they can grow into larger ones. When ignored, the issues can lead to bigger arguments and disagreements. Most major arguments don’t begin with a bang. They are rooted in a small annoyance, breach of trust, or trespass. It’s like the mighty oak that stood on the skyline of the Rocky Mountains. The tree had survived hail, heavy snow, bitter cold, and ferocious storms for more than a century. It was finally felled not by a great lightning strike or an avalanche, but by an attack of tiny beetles. A little hurt, neglect, or insult can be the beginning of the end for virtually any relationship. Therefore take care of what you say and be certain the attitude you have is right!  Just a few words can be enough to make a difference in a person’s life. How important it is to choose our words wisely!  Do not let anger lead you anywhere…but especially down a road you truly don’t want to travel. Never go to sleep without resolving the issues. Be open with each other; and above all, trust your partner. 


Respect the reason why you’re apart: There could be various reasons for being or staying apart. It could be the dream job that you or your partner has taken up or it could be for higher education. Whatever the reason may be, respect each other’s choice in moving ahead to pursue his/her ambition. Over a period of time, you may be tempted to quit your job or discontinue your studies just to be with the person you love and admire. So, encourage and motivate each other to achieve each other’s goals and ambitions. Always remember that the separation is not permanent but only temporary. Encourage and assure each other that the problems and the separation pangs are only for a short while till you meet again.  


Lean on your family and friends as your support system:  Let your family and friends know about your long-distance relationship. Talk to them and update them about your partner, like the place where he/she stays, his/her job, his/her family, etc., In a long-distance relationship, you always feel and wish that your partner lived closer to you, especially when you look at other couples spending quality time with each other. You long to be with them, especially when you feel discouraged, lonely, and sick. That is the time when you can lean on your family or friends for comfort and advice. Family and friends are your immediate support system since you are living with them or they live close by.


Talk about why you’re in this relationship:  Talking about your relationship with your partner, how sure you both are in continuing your relationship, the reason you are doing it, the love you both share for each other… getting these spelled out will strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Assure each other that you won’t be in this long-distance relationship longer and very soon will be together. Work towards it. Remember that there is a reason why you’re in this relationship. It is a choice you both made and are committed to it. It involves a lot of effort, patience, and trust. It is like teamwork and that will definitely take you both through it. Keep your relationship alive by sending texts, voice messages about how much you love, cherish and care for each other, and how you are eagerly waiting for the day when you will meet up again.


Celebrate special days:  Jot down the special and important days of your partner, like birthdays, the day you both met, a promotion, completing your education, the anniversary of his/her parents. Now that you have a reason to celebrate, plan how you want to spend the day or evening celebrating. You can surprise him/her by sending a cake, flowers, or a gift to suit the occasion. Have a meal together. You can go to a restaurant and order your favorite food. Video call while having your meal. Talk about how you both met for the first time. The color of the outfit he/she was wearing for your first meeting, the place where you met. Share your feelings, your thoughts on how important these special days are to both of you. These little things will set the spark alive in your relationship and you will feel more loved and cared for.


Make To-Do lists for each other: This is an activity that can be fun and help you bond with each other. Make a list of things to do for the two of you, either on a daily or weekly basis. Share the to-do lists with each other. Find out what your partner loves doing the most. It could be a workout at the gym, going for a  walk, or visiting his parents, go for a coffee at his/her favorite place, visiting a sick friend, paying the bills, attending a concert or a show, or buying a birthday gift for a family member. Doing these little things will strengthen your relationship and you will not feel ignored. You can call or message your partner at the end of the day to find out if he has completed his tasks from the to-do list.


Be a better listener:  It is very important to listen to your partner with an open heart and mind. Don’t be quick to judge especially when you are resolving issues. It could be about a bad day at their office, or a misunderstanding with a colleague, or a disagreement with a family member, the things which upset them, the fears, the feeling of insecurity. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things. For your partner, knowing that you’re listening to them helps them feel wanted and cared for.  Talk to them, assuring them of your constant support. Don’t be quick to give your suggestions and opinions. Show interest in your partner and be engaged in what they are saying.


Update each other about what’s happening on your side of the world:  You and your partner would like to know about what’s happening on the other side of the world. Update each other on the day’s activities as long as you both love doing it and it doesn’t become too boring. Talk to your partner about how things are going at work, the new boss, the colleagues you’ve befriended, celebration plans for an upcoming festival, the food, or the day at your college, the new syllabus, a college event, a friend’s birthday and the games arranged for it. You have to understand each other’s busy schedules, and this is a creative way to do it.


Don’t stress about the miles and don’t make assumptions: When you are in a long-distance relationship, don’t stress about the distance that separates you. The wait is worth it. Don’t assume that your relationship will not withstand the physical separation. Never let negative thoughts ruin your relationship. There will be problems, but overcoming them together will make you stronger and draw you closer to each other. 


Make a picture album:  The pictures you have taken through the years of your relationship bring back memories of you being together. Make an album out of it. Send it as a digital album or as a photo album to your partner. 


Share your daily successes and support each other:  Sharing your daily successes with your partner will make both of you happy. He/she will be happy to hear about your success in getting the big order for your company; a good health report from the doctor, winning a gift in a game show... the best one is getting your parents’ approval for your relationship. These little things will keep your relationship alive. Support each other through thick and thin. Motivate each other and keep saying that the days of your waiting will come to an end.


Spread your happiness:  Share your happiness with your partner. Share with him/her the reason for your happiness. It could be a visit to your grandmother’s place, a meeting with a long-lost friend, a shopping which was pending. Tell him/her how they make you smile and the things they do for you, which makes you happy. Compliment each other and tell him/her that being together is the happiest moment in your life and how much you are in love and are longing to be with each other. Always find ways to be happy and enjoy life. Surround yourself with happier people and stay positive. You don’t have to be together to be happy. 


Never let unkind words affect your relationship:  Be careful while communicating with your partner. Never let your anger steal your happiness. Unkind words spoken will have a lasting effect on your relationship. Never make a call or send a message when you are upset, angry, and jealous. Calm down, think over, and then speak. Don’t control your emotions. Make your partner feel that you need your space too. 


Be faithful to your partner:  Especially in a long-distance relationship, both of you must be very understanding. Be faithful to each other. Since your partner is not around to see what you are doing, doesn’t mean you can cheat or betray. Be loyal to each other. Temptations do come knocking on your door but stay strong. Never give in to desires that will scar your relationship. 


Keep track of each other’s social media activities: In this modern world, technology brings us closer, though you are miles apart. Make use of this and keep a track of each other’s social media activities, like each other’s posts and pictures on Instagram or Facebook. Tag each other when you share pictures on social media.


Make sure to laugh together:  Laughter is often the glue that binds people together, especially for couples, and brings them closer to each other. You can watch a comedy show or a comedy movie or a funny video or think of the funny and crazy conversations you’ve had with your partner. Learn new jokes to tell your partner. Laughter has many benefits. It can reduce stress, it is a good booster to the immune system, it makes you feel lighter, strengthens your relationship, increases energy. It helps you cope up with loneliness, anxiety. Laughter is good medicine, not only to your body and soul but also to your relationship. So make sure you laugh often when you are together and boost each other’s morale. Involve yourselves in playful communication, when you are stressed. Laugh at each other’s jokes while on a video call, joking about your partner’s funny smile or his/her frown. It might sound silly, but it helps in making your relationship fresh and reduces any stress between you both. Always remember, where to draw the line. If your find your partner is taking things seriously which you say as a joke, then stop. It could hurt his/her feelings.


Sexting each other: In a long-distance relationship where there is no intimate physical contact possible, sexting is the only way to feel close together. Send each other dirty texts while on a romantic call. Tell your partner how you miss being with him/her, miss his/her touch the intimate kiss, the smell of their perfume, and the loving warm hugs. But be careful about what you send and share because, sometimes, sexting can go wrong.


Be committed to maintaining your boundaries: Setting boundaries and being committed to them is important in a long distant relationship. Both of you need space and learn to honor it. Be clear in explaining to your partner, that you love and care about him/her and are serious and committed about the relationship you are in. But you should also make it clear that you will not tolerate or allow any repeated behavior that is disturbing and wrecking your relationship. Especially hurling abuses at each other, drinking excessively, and making destructive, false allegations. That’s where you need to draw the line. 


Play games together:  Playing games is a real stress buster for everyone, especially for couples. Fix a convenient time when both of you are free and play a video game, or play a game of Uno or a game of cards. There are so many online games to play. Choose a game you both like to play and set a time for it. It’s worth the effort.


Bring out the best in each other:  Appreciate each other. Talk to your partner about the good qualities they possess. Praise him/her when they show patience in handling things effectively. Encourage and motivate each other in completing his/her tasks, in handling family issues, in completing the hobby they have started, or pursuing their passion to write, or even advising on how to solve the issues at the office. Help each other in overcoming emotional issues. Complement each other, when you complete the tasks successfully. Have confidence in each other and be grateful to each other. Don’t take each other for granted. When your partner is around you feel motivated, inspired. There’s a smile on your face.


Celebrate your differences as well as the things you share:  Remember no two individuals are exactly alike. Coming from different backgrounds, there will be different opinions, different interests, likes, dislikes, and views. That doesn’t mean you are not compatible with each other. Learn to accept and appreciate the differences and express love on a regular basis. There could be things in common which you share.

Give each other the freedom to have a close relationship with family and friends: You both have your families and your friends. Spend time with your family and friends separately, socializing with them, attending get-togethers, going on a vacation with them. Give each other the freedom to do that.


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