Getting into a long-distance relationship for the first time can be scary. But it doesn't have to be. As long as you can balance out the pros and cons and come up with one side heavier than the other, you can confidently say yes (or no) to being in a relationship with someone who you know is going to be away from you - physically and, if you're not careful, emotionally and psychologically - for weeks, months, or years at a time.
The advantages of a long-distance relationship
Privacy: When your partner is not present, you have complete freedom to do whatever you want. What you do is not accountable to your partner. You have the luxury of doing things at your own pace. There will be no more excuses, and you will not have to wait for your partner to arrive. You have the freedom to focus on other activities that you find interesting. There’s no need to be concerned about him or her monitoring your phone. No fear of him or her checking your phone. You can focus on your academics, your work, and your other relationships with your friends and family.
Happy and fun-filled life: You don’t have your partner checking in on you all the time when you are in a long-distance relationship. You simply take pleasure in the freedom to do things your way. There will be no unneeded squabbles or problems. You can have a good time with your family and friends. Your companion is not present to interrogate you. It’s even better if you’re on opposite sides of the world.
You will be able to cope with your partner’s absence in the future: One of the best things about being in a long-distance relationship is this. You can cope with your partner’s absence and manage things when your partner is away. When you both have been faithful during your long-distance relationship, then there’s nothing to worry about.
It strengthens your bond: When you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship and are separated by different time zones, you and your partner should adjust and choose a time when you are both free to chat. You and your partner can choose how you want to communicate. You both have to learn to be patient. This deepens your bond and trust in each other. You both lean on each other for comfort, advice, and love. A good way to strengthen your bond is with friendship lamps. They're pairs or sets of touch-operated lamps that connect to the Internet via the local Wi-Fi in any location in the world. Touch one lamp and all other connected lamps will light up in the same color! A great way to stay in touch whether you're a long-distance couple, friends, or family.
Your relationship purely is not physical: It is so common that the partners get attracted to each other’s physical appearance. This type of attraction will gradually wane with time. As a result, when you’re in a long-distance relationship, your bond is not physical but emotional. You both build your long-distance relationship on trust since you both don’t get to see each other often. As the years pass, your relationship grows stronger.
You will have a lot of leisure time for yourself: Another advantage of being in a long-distance relationship is that you get a lot of leisure time and more flexibility. You can do the things you want to do in your own time and you don’t have your partner around to annoy you. You can take up a hobby which you like and also concentrate and give time to your family, especially your mum and dad. You’ll be able to go out with your family and friends. You can go on that solo trip which you have been planning but were unable to do. Spend quality time with friends. You’ll have time to pamper yourself, a cherished ‘Me Time’ which is important to rejuvenate yourself. You have time to focus on your own goals in life.
You can appreciate your partner more: When in a long-distance relationship, patience plays an important role in keeping your relationship going. You both have to work a time convenient to call and talk to each other, especially when your time zones are different. Sometimes you cannot call due to unavoidable circumstances. If your partner understands your schedule and your work and is patient, your love and appreciation for your partner increases. It is the same and vice versa. Value each other and respect their thoughts and views. When you both start appreciating each other and remember and talk about the times you both have spent together.
Being in a long-distance relationship allows you to travel when you visit your partner: You fix a date to visit your partner who lives oceans apart. This way you get to travel which is one of your hobbies. Make the most of it. You can visit other places en route to the place where your partner lives. You both will be looking forward to meeting each other after a long gap. You can make travel plans together to a place where you both have wanted to visit. Above all value the long-distance relationship that you both have patiently built over the years.
Fewer conflicts: When in a long-distance relationship, you may find that there are fewer arguments, and not annoying each other when you are not around each other. It gives you less heartache to know that your partner doesn’t even have time to find fault with you. Your long-distance relationship is built on trust. Have faith in each other and love your partner the way he or she is. You don’t take each other for granted. You long to talk to each other and value the joyous times spent together.
Test of Love: It’s difficult to stay in touch when you’re apart. To keep a long-distance relationship going, you’ll need to put in extra work. It is a collaborative endeavor rather than a one-sided one. Not seeing each other for longer periods and maintaining a solid relationship requires a lot of trust and love for each other, remembering that you will one day be together. There will be frustrations and anger at times. Talk things out with your partner and don’t let it ruin your relationship. You will eventually come out victorious. The advantage here is that even despite the distance and being oceans apart your love for each other does not diminish but deepens with every passing day. This will help you when you get together finally.
You are forced to be more independent: When you live alone and your partner is oceans apart from you, then it’s difficult to manage alone. Hence you are forced to be independent. To do everything on your own and take care of yourself when you fall ill is very frustrating and difficult. This will teach you to be more independent and not look forward to anyone to get it fixed. You learn to pay your bills, fix broken taps, do grocery shopping, visit the doctor, etc.,
You’ll both become experts in communication: Being in a long-distance relationship you need to communicate a lot to keep it going. You’ll have to try different ways of communicating with each other to keep your relationship strong. Listening patiently while your partner is talking is another way to show your partner that you care about what he or she is saying and helps you to understand them better. By the time you both get together, you’ll be an expert in communication.
The knowledge that if your relationship can survive the distance, it can survive most things: Being in a long-distance relationship is difficult and sometimes it takes a toll on you. If you and your partner love and respect each other deeply, then give your relationship your best. It is so satisfying to know that when your relationship can survive the distance, then it can survive most things.
You find out if you’re serious about each other: There have been a lot of times when the long-distance relationship breaks up because of various issues. It could be due to a lack of physical intimacy, lack of communication, lack of commitment, lack of trust, etc., When you know that you are really in love and cannot live without each other, then you put in extra effort to keep your long-distance relationship going. You both are committed to each other.
The disadvantages of a long-distance relationship
Communication problems: The best way to keep in touch with each other in a long-distance relationship is good communication. When there is a lack of communication, then your relationship suffers. When communication is one-sided then your relationship breaks. There should be a two-way communication process to keep the relationship going.
Distance creates too much of a gap: Long-distance relationships have the disadvantage of creating a vacuum in your relationship. You will both become bored if you text or skype each other too much. Communicating in a long-distance relationship is difficult. For example, you both have to stick to a time to call each other because your partner is in a different time zone. One of you can get busy at that time and can miss the scheduled time. When this happens often, your partner gets upset and gradually loses interest in the relationship. In a long-distance relationship when you don’t get to see or meet each other often, you tend to take the other for granted. You feel that the love you had for each other has taken a back seat. You lose interest in working towards building your relationship. The lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship also strains your relationship. You long for your partner to be around you especially when you are ill, or had a promotion and you want to share the joyous moment with him or her. The distance tears you apart.
Betrayal: This is another disadvantage of a long-distance relationship. Betrayals are common in this kind of relationship. You don’t know what your partner is up to and his or her activities. Your communication is at an all-time low and you lose interest in your relationship. Your trust in your partner is broken because of his newfound relationships. It hurts you to the core, while you are trying to keep your relationship going and your partner is least bothered to do his or her part.
Loneliness: You feel lonely when you are in a long-distance relationship. Long weeks, months, or even years of not seeing each other will make you feel insecure. You long to be with your partner to share your joys and sorrows. There’s no one to talk to when you return from college or work. You long for your partner’s company, to go out for a walk, or for a meal together. Long-distance makes it impossible for your partner or you to travel often, taking into consideration the huge costs of travel and time.
Feeling of insecurity: When you suspect your partner of cheating on you, you may feel insecure. Not caring enough to call you and keep in touch with you. Your long-distance relationship suffers as a result. You and your partner often have conflicts and you fear losing your partner. You pick up fights over trivial matters. The majority of the time, you feel guilty and blame yourself for the things that happen between you and your partner. This is the result of having too much reliance on your relationship.
You need constant reassurance from your partner: When you are dependent on your partner for everything and your partner betrays you, you cannot digest it. You seek constant reassurance from your partner. When you don’t get it you feel depressed and assume that he or she doesn’t love you anymore. Even when your partner is very caring and loving, he cannot keep reassuring you at all times. This difference in opinions hampers your relationship and you are not happy with how things are going.
The fear of losing your partner: This hampers your long-distance relationship. The constant fear that your partner will leave you for another person. The reason is less communication between the two of you and the misunderstandings that arise often. You see a lot of his or her pictures on social media hanging around with others. This makes you even more miserable in this relationship. Being in this long-distance relationship doesn’t help you in any way. You always feel insecure, frustrated, and incomplete. It does more harm emotionally being in this long-distance relationship than remaining single.
The level of patience and being lazy: When you decide to be in a long-distance relationship, you both are patient and promptly fix the timing to call and speak to each other. You take special interest on special days to greet each other and plan how to spend the day together virtually. As time goes by, the spark in your relationship weakens. You miss out on your scheduled calls or the weekly video call. When one partner shows disinterest in the relationship, the other will eventually fall back. It becomes a one-sided affair. You lose the spice in your relationship as the years go by. Another problem is that you become lazy to make that scheduled call and do not spend the quality time required with each other. The conversations become more formal and you both spend less time communicating with each other.
Difficulty in keeping up the routine: The disadvantage of being in a long-distance relationship is that the partners fail to keep up the routine of calling each other or meeting as scheduled. They fail to catch up with virtual date nights, the virtual tour that they had planned. Keeping up with these routines becomes difficult because of the change in the timing of their work schedule or being occupied with other personal commitments.
Nothing to talk about: Over a period the relationship suffers, especially a long-distance relationship because there is nothing to talk about. You wait for your partner to speak first, while he or she is waiting for the same. Your relationship lacks the zeal and the romantic talks of the past. You find it hard to continue your conversation with your partner. Your conversations are not deeper and you both don’t express your emotions with each other as they used to be initially. A sign that you are no longer interested in continuing this long-distance relationship.
You can’t see each other daily: This is another disadvantage of a long-distance relationship. Your relationship is lively and thriving when you get to meet your partner daily or even on alternate days. The one-to-one contact is not there. You miss the kisses, the hugs, the romantic time you have spent together. The absence of your partner makes you feel left out and you long for his or her presence.
Lack of commitment: Long-distance relationships need a lot of hard work to keep it going. It needs long-term commitment from both partners. In the absence of commitment, it is difficult to continue in a long-distance relationship. If both the partners are not serious about their relationship and do not want to have any commitments, then the relationship suffers and it becomes a casual relationship, and often one not worth continuing.
Jealousy: When you are over possessive about your partner, jealousy creeps in. You start doubting your partner over his social media posts or that person he or she has been hanging around with. If the person is good-looking and you find your partner with him/her get jealous. You start questioning your partner and you have constant arguments and conflicts. Jealousy is another disadvantage in a long-distance relationship.
Lack of physical intimacy: This is another major disadvantage in a long-distance relationship. Most relationships fail because of a lack of physical intimacy. You suppress the need for physical intimacy.