When you’ve been in a long-distance relationship for a few months, you may find yourself becoming a little complacent about how you treat the other person. How do you keep that from happening? How do you keep things fresh and exciting? If you feel your remote romance cooling off, here are some long-distance relationship gifts that will make your overseas love laugh, cry, or cry laughing!
Make Your Man Laugh until He Cries with These Quirky Long-distance Relationship Gifts
#1 – Personalized Boxer Boxer Briefs
A picture says a thousand words, so if you’re a fun-loving couple that’s just a little bit risqué, why not send a pair of these devilish drawers to the man in your life? Just be careful he doesn’t start taking his pants off wherever he goes, just to show off his “wears”. It’ll be on you!
#2 – Butt Face Combo Soap and Towel
Does your better half on the other side of the proverbial pond often get confused about where he begins and where he ends? This clearly marked duo of soaps and a towel will set him straight. It makes for great hygiene and a couple of giggles while he’s soaping up or toweling off.
#3 – Hidden Hip Flask
We’re still on the topic of booze, are we? Sure, why not? This great idea works really well if you hide the hip flask in a very serious book, like Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace. The book is fat enough to ensconce a nice little flask. If you’re shipping it overseas, though, make sure the flask empty! For the incorrigibly irreverent, why not use a B*bl*? Sorry to not spell it out – not really a keen fan of getting struck by lightning!
#4 – Literary Insult Chart
A literary insult chart? What’s that, you might ask? It’s simply a visually categorized collection of the most offensive obloquies from literary giants of the past; an encyclopedia of edgy zingers from just about everyone – from Churchillian chillers to Shakespearean scorchers, your guy will laugh his ass off with these titillating taunts and brutal burns! He’ll laugh so much he’ll start to cry, and then he’ll go and blast out a few of these blasphemous bombasts on his best buds over a beer.
#5 – Beer Belly Fanny Pack
Yup, it’s really a thing. These hilarious beer belly bum packs are a riot. Your man will be ROFL-ing when he gets this. Available in multiple skin tones and varying levels of hairiness and can hold at least a couple of cold ones – it’s as close to a true beer belly as you’ll ever want him to grow!
#6 – Tacos Can be Pun, Too!
If your man’s a foodie and loves tacos, he’s going to wear this tee every chance he gets. It might be a good idea to get it in a size that’s just a little tight for him – sure, why not rub it in while you’re at it. Ole!
#7 – ‘He Nose How to Have Fun’ Paper Cups
Originally branded as “pick your nose” paper cups, these now come in a variety of options, including animal snouts and bird beaks. They make excellent party cups and are guaranteed to get people in the mood. Get a set of 24 and have them shipped to your beau overseas.
#8 – Granite Whiskey Stones
Your boy loves his booze chilled but hates that watery feeling when the ice melts. “Finally,” he’ll say, “a woman after my own heart.” With these whiskey stones now at his beck and call, all he has to do is chill them out… and then chill out with them! Guaranteed to at least make his eyes tear up. Warning: Sensitive men may end up bawling like babies when they see this in the mail! For that fussy whiskey or wine lover, these are probably the coolest long-distance relationship gifts you can come up with. Literally.
#9 – Lipstick-marked Sandwich Bags
It’s not actual lipstick, mind you. These printed sandwich bags will give your shy guy a nice little conversation starter at work during his lunch hour. Who knows, he might even think of you for all of 12 seconds before getting whisked away by the office vamp! Are you having second thoughts about it now? Read on…
#10 – Boozy Binoculars
If your remote Romeo has been wondering how he can carry his tipple on those weekend hikes without alerting park authorities, this is one of the best long-distance relationship gifts for him. Just to be safe, give him a good answer to use when someone asks to borrow his binoculars. They might end up seeing double.
#11 – Good Morning, Mr. President!
Who doesn’t love being lied to by political royalty? This is what the long-distance love of your life should see when he wakes up. You DO want him to wake up with a smile, don’t you?
Make Your Woman Tear Up or Light Up with One of These Quirky Long-distance Relationship Gifts
#12 – Daily Rant Journals
Too scared to tell your faraway forever love that she complains too much? Try these “note-so-subtle” notebooks and get away with murder! She’ll be dying to share her pet peeves on your next FaceTime call. But if they’re mostly about you, don’t say you weren’t warned.
#13 – Miniature Desk Vac
These adorable little tabletop USB vacuum cleaners are great conversation pieces for her workstation in the office. They make excellent long-distance relationship gifts for all those tidy Theresas and spotless Suzies out there. Yup, she knows we’re talking about her.
#14 – Shower Squids
A set of these for her shower stall will be much appreciated. Each squiddy holds up to 9 items and can save a lot of space in the shower. Practical yet playful.
#15 – Funny Coffee Mug
Need to tell your long-distance lover that she has a mouth to make a sailor blush? Try this oh-so-subtle coffee mug as a long-distance relationship gift for your lovable gutter gab – I dare you!
#16 – Notes from a Fetus
A hilarious parody of the best-selling book, What To Expect When You’re Expecting, this rib-tickling tome tells the fetus in your wife’s womb what to expect during the first three trimesters. Great advice, but the content has to be delivered by the mother. Duh! Why is that, you ask? Well, that’s because your kid can’t read yet, you over-ambitious wannabe child prodigy’s Daddy!
#17 – Homemade Porn for Women
You can buy this one online but it works beautifully when it’s a personalized long-distance relationship gift. We suggest compiling a collection of printed-out selfies – wait, don’t take your pants off just yet – of you mopping the floor, doing the dishes, making a cup of tea, or taking out the garbage. Stick the photos in a journal titled ‘Porn for [Her Name Here]’ and ship it off to her so she can get her juices flowing as she gawks open-mouthed at her fave guy doing the one thing that makes men attractive to women. Housework!
#18 – Donut and Coffee Mug
Has your wife been complaining to you during your bi-weekly Skype calls that she can’t walk around in the morning with her coffee and a donut while checking her Snapchat on her phone? This might be just the thing she was looking for.
#19 – Quarantine Sandwich Bags
The “Quarantine” printed sandwich bags are guaranteed to thwart that office sandwich thief your wife’s been complaining about. A little dark humor around the coronavirus threat never hurt anyone! Warning: This product might get your wife into trouble at work. Also available in a “Crime Scene” variant.
#20 – Long-distance Boyfriend Pillow
She needs an arm to snuggle up to or a shoulder to cry on but you’re thousands of miles away? No problem, let this ‘boyfriend arm’ do the heavy lifting for you. Guaranteed to make her smile, even when she’s sad.
#21 – Bad Ass Knee-high Socks
Let your lady walk the talk with these ‘a-hole-repellent’ socks. Wards off all kinds of freaks and pervs while your girl is away in another country traveling or working.
These tasteful long-distance gifts for him and her will squeeze out every last drop of that missing zing from your long-distance love life. They’re fun, they’re affordable, and they’ll invariably make more of an impression than you can ever imagine. Just make sure that your bae loves a good laugh and won’t be offended by your thoughtful and practical (NOT!) gift ideas.
For a truly touching long-distance relationship gift, why not consider our friendship lamps? Touch yours and your lover’s lamp will light up no matter where in the world they are. Operates on Wi-Fi connectivity. Check out our special offers.